No Tobacco Day

Considered myself as MAKNA's ambassador, I have to tell you this..

Please stop smoking if you are a smoker, please..

Needless to say, everybody knew the effects of smoking.

Although not 100% smokers will have cancer, more you puff..higher risk you will bear.
Statistics speak itself how lung cancer & some other cancers related directly with smoking. If you read about the demise of an automotive tycoon recently, he was diagnosed with lung cancer (found out in Dec'07/Jan'08). And he was a heavy smoker.

Yes, some will argue about the fate. The life & death which already been determined by Allah. However, if this is the least we can do, why not??

Although I am no smoker (yes, I tried a bit when I was in Standard 4, luckily it didn't turn me into smoker), I can understand the hardship to quit . That's why I will not elaborate further on how to quit, bla..bla.. It takes a lot of determination, sacrifice & strong will. I pray Allah, all of you will succeed, Amin..

Believe me, it's not worth it to undergo chemotherapy. This is my only advice..
Wallahua'lam

2nd Anniversary (Post-Event)

Those trying to guess the restaurant that we went to last night..
I wish you good luck... :-)


So, get your answer right??

Well, this is the restaurant I told you earlier. At first I thought the location, the ambience or the food can make it special. The fact that we both thinking of the same place already made it very, very special.

At the height of 282m, here we are..Restoran Berputar Seri Angkasa, KL Tower..
I must say the view is fantastic..Other that that, food & ambience are about the same as any other 5-star hotels or restaurants (I guess so coz I am not a frequent visitor of high-class eateries though..hihihi)
Due to my condition, I only ate a little. Although my appetite gone wild the moment I look at buffet selection, I afraid I will throw out if I eat too much. However, not so to my wife, she enjoyed the buffet very much..hahaha.. With the whopping price we pay, we deserve to taste it all, right??

As for info-sharing, it took 1 hour and half to make a complete circle. I am not sure about the speed it moves, but it's too slow you won't feel it's actually revolving. We were up there for about 2 1/2 hour, so we didn't manage to have 2 full circles. One interesting fact is that everybody will get excited every time their tables facing the Petronas Twin Towers. Flashes from the cameras will tell you that. Lucky for us, it indirectly hides our over-excitement as well..hehehe..

Overall, it was a wonderful moment. The most important thing, I must be grateful for what I have today..Someone who always be there for me during my joy and sorrow..
Alhamdulillah..

** This might be my last photo with hair..Still, I hope for a miracle.. :-)

Low White Blood Cell

Suppose I have to come back to work today.

However, my white blood cell count is low (3.5 - normal is 4.3-10.5). Last week was 7.2. Due to drugs that I took, it dropped significantly. As a result, one injection (insulin) given at my stomach to boost my white cell count.

If situation is not improved, my next chemo session will be postponed. I hope not..

Few risks with the low white blood, among others..exposed to infection. So, doctor advised me to stay away from crowd.
Then, even a small cut also resulted in me getting a serious infection. (that's why I am not going to shave my hair yet..hehehe)

To cope with this problem, I need to eat a balanced diet & rest.

Hope the condition will be better before my 2nd cycle which is scheduled on 2 June. Amin..

2nd Anniversary : What a Surprise

What can I say...

On Monday, I made an arrangement for today's celebration. Since last year we didn't celebrate, I figured out one special place for our 2nd anniversary. I want to surprise her. When she asked where should we go, I say just eat at home la..
So my wife claimed she already booked one place (maybe she considers my condition not in the mood to celebrate)
What a coincidence..Yesterday we found out that we both made reservation on the same restaurant!!Strong instinct huh??

To Bride & Bridegroom To-Be

Cuti sekolah datang lagi..secara tidak langsung juga musim orang berkahwin beramai2 tiba lagi..
Utk berkongsi tips2 yg mungkin boleh diguna pakai oleh rakan2 yg bakal menjejakkan kaki ke dunia baru..maka sedikit coretan yg tak seberapa ni diharapkan sedikit sebanyak membantu..


2 years ago..(28/5/06 @ 11.30am)

Berdebarnya masa bersalam dgn pak mertua aku..Allah sahaja yg tahu..perasaan nak terkencing terberak semua ade..peluh jgn ceta la..
Nasib baik juga pak mertua aku jenis tak byk ckp..kire serius je la from A-Z..aku pun control macho..selawat istigfar byk2..muhasabah diri,ade tanggungjawab besar yg bakal menanti..
(P/S : tok kadi aku tgh tido ke ape yg tgh2 tu??khusyuk semacam je..hehehe)

Itu kalo dgn pak mertua..kebiasaannye ngan tok kadi..
Ade gak member2 yg kene dgn tok kadi yg byk cekadak..byk songel..
tanya rukun itu,rukun ni..tapi kebanyakannye soalan2 simple je..
Don't worry..kalo pun korang kalut or blur tiba2 tak tau nak jawab ape,majlis takkan postpone or kansel punye...at last diorg akan tolong jawabkan..percayalah...
Moral of story, byk2kan selawat,istigfar & ape2 zikir yg korang biasa amalkan..
InsyaAllah..kalo tak sekali lafaz,2 kali. kalo tak 3-4 kali pun tadak hal..pakcik aku sampai 5 kali..maklum le,tok kadi johor ni cerewet skt..grammar tak betul pun kene ulang semula..ntah ape2..kalo ikut syarak, "aku terima" pun dah sah..


Alhamdulillah..
Hari ni genap dua tahun perkahwinan kami..Pejam celik, pejam celik..sekejap je masa berlalu..Syukur ya-Allah atas segala kurniaanMU, walaupun aku sering leka & lalai dlm mengingatiMU..

Kepada bakal2 pengantin (sooner or later), inilah permulaan utk kehidupan sebenar..pasti akan ada saat suka duka, sedih, pilu, gembira..setiap perasaan yg dtg tu adalah asam garam hidup..hadapi segalanya dgn rasa syukur, sabar & insaf kekurangan diri..
Bak kata pepatah,sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit..inikan pula suami isteri..di sini teruji kebijaksanaan sang suami & kesabaran si isteri..
Again, don't worry too much..kenangkan kembali matlamat kite berumahtangga..Kalo ketika bercinta,semua kesalahan mampu dimaafkan..apa bezanya selepas bernikah??

Selamat Pengantin Baru...

End of 1st Cycle

Alhamdulillah....
Today (2.45pm to be exact) marks the end of 1st cycle of my chemotherapy..

1 cycle down. 3 cycles to go. Yes, it is still a long way..but at least thousand miles begin with the 1st step.

My hair started to fall heavily. Luckily my appetite does not. I am eagerly waiting what will happen to my hair. Nurses already advised me to shave clean.

Er..for this moment, I will maintain as it is. Last time I cut short my hair was in Form 4, even then it was 1/2 inch. This time?? OH TIDAK.....

Thomas Cup vs Champions' League

Well, 2 disappointments within 2-week time somehow make me ponder on something.

First, it was Thomas Cup semi-final when Malaysia was defeated by China 2-3. The defeat is expected. When the tie was 2-2, I still put a little hope, how slim I aware it was..

Second, the team I support Chelsea lost to Man United 5-6 on penalties (1-1 regular time). It was so close yet too far..

Between two, my favourite disappointment is the second.

You might wonder why..
This is what we called sportmanship.

Just to let you know..
during 3rd single of Thomas Cup (the decider), I didn't watch 2nd set coz I already know the result looking the way 1st set was played.
No offence, but that 'man' really let the nation down. Fullstop.

Back to Champions League. To be frank, I am not a fanatic Chelsea fan. Just because I hate Man United most (again, no offence..hihihi), so I pick Chelsea, the team I believe a strong contender & challenger to Man United.
The final was amazing. I won't go into details. Ask any impartial analyst will say Chelsea deserve to win. Especially that poor captain, who missed the kick. Anyway, this is football & that's why it is the most popular sport on earth..Full of uncertainties, full of surprises...

So, comparing the two matches..I suddenly realized that I do not mind losing as long as you give your best shot.

Back to Work

Setelah berehat panjang..aku kembali bekerja hari ni..

Kalo ikutkan hati & nasihat doktor yg suruh berehat sampai Ogos..maunye dpt surat berhenti keje gamaknye nanti..hehehe

Bukannye ape, kesiankan member2 yg dah coverkan keje kite sebulan lebih tu..
Walaupun blm pulih sepenuhnya, ku gagahkan jua..ceh...

Apapun, tiba time lunch je badan dah tak sedap..rase nak baring je kat sick bay tu..

Nasib la bos & member2 paham..diorg suruh lepak2 je, sesuaikan diri dulu (mcm 1st day masuk keje baru la pulak..hahaha)

Happy Teachers' Day (err..belated ya)

Oppss...I missed one important event this year..
Due to my unwell condition, I know I can be forgiven..hehehe

16th May...Why it's so important to me??
Well, my parent both were teachers..Both my grandparent as well. Among six uncles & aunties..half of them are teachers..
To add the stats, two of my sisters-in-law are teachers..
So, teachers' blood is actually inside my vein..perhaps not dominant to me..

To tell you untold story..my ambition is (was actually) to be a teacher. Yes, Accounts teacher..Don't laugh..I know you do!!

I did my M-Test twice (preliminary exam before KPLI programme) & failed both. The 3rd, I missed the application dateline. So, here I am..where I believed have been destined even before I put up my ambition.

Based on latest research recently, besides doctor, teacher is undisputed one of the most noble profession in this world. Looking at the doctor's payroll, my vote goes to teacher for the most noble, indeed.

Anyway, those having the same destiny as mine shouldn't be worry much. We have children, nephew, nieces, cousins..you name it..
We still can be a teacher as lives go on, in direct way or another..
Little contribution to the development of a child as long as sincere & from our own heart..insya-Allah will be rewarded handsomely..
Let's take Saidina Abu Bakar as an example..just imagine, his rewards are as much as rainwater in this world, due to his contribution towards the development & teaching of Islam in the early stage. Hope we can be inspired by this..

Please let me sing one of my all-time favourite songs..

"Kami guru Malaysia..
Berikrar & berjanji..

Teachers out there..your turn...

So, to all fellow teachers (kindergarten, J-QAF, primary, secondary, colleges, universities etc), keep up your good work..
HAPPY TEACHERS DAY.. :-)

If I Have A Choice..

Seems like I'm losing my touch on the keyboard now..
Oh, luckily my fingers are still moving. Alhamdulillah...

Since last Wed (14 May), I was lying down..Fatique, nausea, loss of appetite, diarrhea, blur of vision & not to forget sleepless nights begin to welcome me..

Slowly (so slow in fact), I tried to recover & Alhamdulillah now I am feeling better, if not the same as before. It is hard to believe life will never be the same again, but yet..be grateful of what we are now coz Allah's plan (Taqdir) is perfect. I have faith that this could be the best for me, so let it be & move on.

Normally, 3 days off (weekends + public holiday on monday) are the days I will be looking forward about..whether to go back hometown, visit relatives & friends (wedding, baby etc) or pay a visit to nearest shopping malls..Again, it is something in the past.

Over the weekends, some of my friends visited me at home, brought foods etc..There were some sms'ed me to ask my condition. Thanks to those..
Alhamdulillah..my body began to cope with the drugs & I can't hardly wait for one session after another..(Unless you spotted me not writing this for a long time, it's time to ring me again..hehehe)

Many topics were shared & since school holidays are around the corner, topic that top the list is on the wedding preparations..

Me too, can't really explain how excited I was when I started to plan for my wedding. My general advice is that..be patient & always tawakkal to Allah. There are ways out for any difficulties, always. Insya-Allah, something we do for the sake of HIM..HE will smoothen it.
So, guys & girls out there..Selamat Bertunang & Bernikah..even I can't make it, my prayers will always be with you. Cheers...

So, my overall weekend was great. Things that shared really lightened up my mind, to remind me to focus & move on with my life. I will continue my 4th session of chemo on 20 May (Oh no..just hours later!!)

I definitely have to thank my wife for her tirelessly effort to ensure everything was in order. Just imagine, all burdens shared mutually previously now handled almost single-handedly by my wife Nadiah. I only can do light movement like changing drypers & singing (zikir) while my baby is in the cradle. How I am not worried, she even twisted her toe yesterday when she tried to check on our air-freshener.
Oh my dear, if I have a choice..

Chemo Shows Its True Colour..

Alhamdulillah, I'm back home after 3 days in ward.
I vomitted 3 times yesterday, 2 times just after completed my final bag. 1 on my way back home.
Couldn't sleep last nite, my whole body really painful.

Given a choice, I would rather not continue this. But, if this is what I really have to face in order to fully recover, NO TURNING BACK..Insya-Allah...

Chemo : 12, 13 & 14 May '08

12 May '08
4.00pm - Admitted to OT for chemo-port insertion. Luckily doc gave me the sedation (ubat tidur), so I didn't feel any paid. Woke-up at 6.30pm. I wish I can sleep for the whole nite..hehehe
8.00pm - First ever chemo, Etoposide inserted to my body. Then, 3 bags of sodium. Then, Cisplatin followed by 3 bags of sodium. Just imagine each bag is 500ml. Every hour I visited my toilet. Even my toilet bowl can recognize me by now.
8.30am of 13 May - completed the last bag. 12++ hours taken for the 1st session. WOW..Never imagine this long!!Hardly can sleep because the machine keep on ringing everytime the bag is empty.
For sharing-wise, I combined (jamak) Maghrib & Isyak. Subuh, from my bed..

13 May '08
2.00pm - 3 drugs today (Bleomycin, Etoposide & Cisplatin), alternate by sodium. 3 bags of drugs + 6 bags of sodium. Jamak Taqdim for my Zuhur & Asar.
4.00am of 14 May '08 - final bag completed.After Jamak Takhir my Maghrib & Isyak..finally I had a sound sleep.

14 May '08
Woke-up at 6.30am
I can't wait to go back home...
Today's procedure same as 1st day.
Feel like vomitting..

The Day Has Come..

12 May 08
How can I forget the date.. Today is the day where I have to undergo my chemotherapy session. Oh, you have no idea how much I hate the word! Anyway, I have made up my mind. Let's get it done ASAP. InsyaAllah... everything going to be just fine, AMIN..

I went to DSH at 11.00am. After filling in some documents etc, I waited for Guarantee Letter from PM Care (Health Care provider for Toyota).
Only at 3.30pm my GL was ready. I was sent to room no 357.
So, about 4.00pm, general surgeon (Dr.Thong) came in to brief me on minor surgery to implant chemo-port in my body (below shoulder & next to chest of my right). This port needed to be inserted to ease chemotherapy procedures. Although this port is optional, when I calculate on how many times my veins at my arm to be poked, I rather have this port.

Generally I have 4 cycles to complete, 3-week period for each cycle. How long my chemotherapy? You do the math. My aim is to continue my normal life come AUGUST'08.

Each cycle, on the 1st week I have to be given 2 drugs on 1st day, 3 drugs on 2nd day, 2 drugs on 3rd day. These 3 days must be in consecutive days. Then 1 drug on 2rd & 3rd week each. All in all, 9 times of drugs for every cycle. Meaning 36 dose of drugs!!! (hopefully this not entitled me to be called drug addict). However, I believe my urine test must be positive of all kind of drugs..hehehe

Happy Mother's Day

2nd Sunday of May every year will be celebrated as Mother's Day all over the world. Some countries fixed it on 8th May.

Whenever it is, my opinion is that everyday should be Mother's Day. But, we couldn't afford to buy our mums presents or cards everyday, so I suppose that's where Mother's Day came about.

What I meant by everyday is Mother's Day is that our parents should always be in our remembrance, not in particular day. Yes, in our prayers of course. And perhaps phone calls for alternate days, if everyday is not possible. Also pay a visit at least once every month. While all these applicable for outstation children, those staying with their parents might consider another methodology. Helping in kitchen, cleaning house or anything will be very much appreciated.

Everybody of us have our own ways to show our gratitute. Do whatever you can while you still can. Coz when it's time you cannot, there is no regret.. Wallahu a'lam..

Happy Mother's Day to my mum Zainah Muhammad, mother-in-law Naimah Missian, my wife Nadiah Misman & all mothers out there..May Allah rewards you with Jannah for your sacrifice, AMIN..

Now, Even a Cat Can Fly..

This recent advertisement really caught my attention. It reminds me on my very first journey on the air..


My wife, who has tendency of who-is-this-person, suddenly knew that the MAS CEO is Idris Jala. Why not? He himself runs a promo on the latest MAS eye-catching RM0 fare. Credit to him, I believe this promo give a good run for money to another competitor, you-know-who-i'm-talking-about..

Check this out...

The latter is really good in counter-attack. Lower than 0? I would like to post this question to Mr. Tony Fernandes. Sir, lower than 0 meaning -1, -2 and so on. Do you mean if I fly with your airlines, you will give me money? Because when it -RM1 or whatever minus, you have to pay instead of me..hehehe..

Back to my 1st experience taking an aeroplane.
I was working with PwC (PriceWaterhouseCoopers) then, back in 2004. I was assigned to audit flour manufacturer, which required us (4 of us) to do field audit to flour mills in Kuching, Labuan & Lahad Datu. 3 of them already left for Kuching, because I need to complete statutory audit first in KL.

Due to unavailability of ticket, I had to fly by Airasia (it's MAS-first policy in my firm) all alone.
Not to mention my excitement, eagerness to fly..I also worried on the safety factor.
On the day, I acted gentlemanly allowing myself to be the last to enter. (To pretend that I am not the first-timer..haha)
Here you go, there was only one seat left...right at the back, next to the toilet!!!Still, no problem. Cool beb..(Padan muka!!) No wonder everybody was rushing to enter, there is no seat number. Most likely people will know that I am really a first-timer. Grrrr....
1-hour 45-minutes journey from KL to Kuching really bothering me. My legs cramped a bit (my knee touched the front seat). I enjoyed the moment, though. The view from the sky is really fantastic. It reminds the greatness of Allah. Subhanallah. Just compare ourselves with Allah's other creations..we are nobody, truly. But, we have AKAL, that's the only thing make us special. So, by looking at the sky, clouds, mountains & seas, it can bring us closer to Allah, those who wanna think.
The overall journey, especially touchdown was smooth so there was no fuss for me..My friend of mine has problem with touchdown. He always closed his eyes (I believe some bad experience before, skidded or something).
The rest of my flying trips were by MAS. Maybe I can share some other days, especially taking Fokker flight, which I called mini-bus on air.

So, this competition among two airlines giants really benefits us. Some of my friends already looking forward for their trips. There are pros & cons with anyone you choose. While some prefer comfort, the other might go for cheapest no matter what. Smart buyers will always survey first before making any decision. Beware of the asterisk (*) because that usually piss us off..

It's really a good bargain. Some are really cheap, that's why I say..if my cat has the right to fly, even a cat can fly. Unfortunately, no pet on plane please.
-Sigh-

Chemo Oh Chemo..

Chemotherapy..
Hear that 'magic' word can quickly remind me of the loss of hair..
Will I be bald??Not to mention loss of appetite, loss gain & fatique etc..
Anyway, to begin with..Alhamdulillah, I have a pretty speedy recovery after the surgery on 21st April.
So, I met Dr. Manivannan, oncologist in Damansara Specialist Hospital on 2 May for follow up treatment.

It's confirmed. Embryonal Carcinoma, one type of testicular cancer. One bad thing about this 'species' is that it is aggresive (or should I call it naughty??), which means I must undergo chemotherapy although it is just stage 1.

On 12 May, I will start my chemotherapy (12,13,14 May) follow by 20 May & 27 May. These three weeks deemed as 1 cycle..I need to undergo at least 3-4 cycles before I'm being freed. (Yes, I am prisoner in my own house)

Hope you will pray for my safety. I will be strong, Insya-Allah. Strong for the sake of my family, my beloved wife & daughter..

To my futsal buddies, I have 1 message for you. See you in court somewhere around August!!!

Soal Hati...

Sedikit coretan dari kuliah subuh..mudah-mudahan jadi panduan & pedoman kita semua..

Ustaz bercerita tentang jenis2 hati. Ada 3 jenis hati..hati yg sejahtera, mati & sakit. Hati yg sejahtera adalah hati org2 mukmin..manakala hati yg sakit ialah hati org2 kafir & munafiq.

Utk kali ni, ustaz huraikan tentang hati yg sakit, yg mana keadaan hati kebanyakan umat Islam zaman sekarang.

Tanda2 hati yg sakit ada 3 :-

• Tak rasa bersalah tatkala berbuat dosa
• Sukar membezakan antara yg baik & buruk
• Cenderung pada akidah2 yg songsang

Tambah ustaz lagi, hati SANGAT SENSITIF terhadap 2 perkara di bawah. Andai kita tidak berwaspada & membiarkannya tanpa tindakan susulan, kesannya sangat buruk. HATI AKAN MENJADI KERAS SEPERTI BATU. Nauzubillahi min zalik...

1. Berterusan membuat dosa / maksiat (walaupun dosa2 kecil) - setiap dosa akan meninggalkan titik hitam pada hati. Jika kita berterusan melakukan dosa tersebut, titik2 hitam tersebut akan bertambah dari hari ke hari hingga menyebabkan hati menjadi gelap & sukar untuk dipulihkan.
2. Tidak mengambil iktibar atas peristiwa besar yg berlaku terhadap kita / sekeliling - peristiwa yg dimaksudkan seperti kematian orang terdekat, sakit yg kronik, tsunami, banjir & sebagainya. Allah mendatangkan peristiwa2 tersebut sebagai peringatan kepada kita. Seandainya kita alpa & terus leka tanpa mengambil pengajaran daripada peristiwa tersebut, hati akan menjadi keras.

Ingatlah wahai teman, berusahalah utk tidak membiarkan 2 perkara di atas menyebabkan hati kita menjadi gelap & keras.

ISTIGFAR & TAUBAT UBAT PENYAKIT HATI
Bayangkan Nabi Muhammad Rasulullah s.a.w yg ma'sum (terpelihara dari dosa) beristigfar 70 kali sehari (sebahagian riwayat 100 kali).

Tentunya kita yg sering terdedah dgn pelbagai dosa setiap detik memerlukan lebih dari itu utk membersihkan hati kita supaya sentiasa bersih.

Semoga Allah kurniakan kita kekuatan utk sentiasa berusaha memperbaiki diri, AMIN...

Wallahu a'lam..

Embryonal Carcinoma, what?

Embryonal carcinoma:
This type of nonseminoma germ cell cancer is present in about 40% of testicular tumors. Pure embryonal carcinomas occur only 3% to 4% of the time. When seen under a microscope, these tumors can look like tissues of very early embryos. This type of nonseminoma tends to grow rapidly and spread outside the testicle.

Alhamdulillah...
"sesungguhnya sesudah kesukaran pasti ada kemudahan..." (As-Syarh: 6)

Yes..it was difficult at first to admit that I was diagnosed having a cancer.
Testicular cancer to be exact.

But, lucky I was. With an early detection as well as the success of the surgery to remove the tumor...suddenly I realised how true are Allah's words..

How difficult the situation is, always put your believe in Allah. HE knows the best.
In my case, later detection is not an option.